Tag Archive for 'old-people'

Ageing Eyesight

An 85-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back normal.

The doctor says, ‘George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?’

George replies, ‘God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he’s fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, *poof *!, the light goes on. When I’m done, *poof *!, the light goes off.’

‘Wow, that’s incredible,’ the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls George’s wife.

‘Ethel,’ he says, ‘George is fine, but I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, *poof *! the light goes on in the toilet, and when he’s done, *poof *! The light goes off?’ ‘

OH MY GOD!’ Ethel exclaims.’He’s pissing in the fridge again!!!!’


(1 votes, average: 2 out of 5) Loading ... Loading ... Comments

Memory Lapse

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. ‘Want anything while I’m in the kitchen?’ he asks.

‘Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?’

‘Sure.’

‘Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?’ she asks.

“No, I can remember it.’

‘Well, I’d like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?’

He says, ‘I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.’

‘I’d also like whipped cream. I’m certain you’ll forget that, write it down?’ she asks.

Irritated, he says, ‘I don’t need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!’

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,

The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

‘Where’s my toast ?’


(1 votes, average: 3 out of 5) Loading ... Loading ... Comments



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