Many more heavenly delights to be read.
(1 votes, average: 4 out of 5)
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Tag Archive for 'kids'
Kids write the darndest things to God
Published 8 months, 2 weeks ago in God, Kids, Letters, Pictures
A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying “God bless Mummy, Godbless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa.”
The father asked, “Why did you say good-bye grandpa?”
The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.”
The next day grandpa died.
The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: “God bless Mummy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma.”
The next day the grandmother died.
Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say,
“God bless Mummy and good-bye daddy.”
He practically went into shock. He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said “I’ve never seen you work so late, what’s the matter?” He said “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.”
She said, “You think you had a bad day, you’ll never believe what happened. This morning our neighbour James dropped dead on our porch.”
(5 votes, average: 4.8 out of 5)
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8 year old Sally came home from school and with a smile on her face told her mother.
“Frank Brown showed me his willy today!”
Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, “It reminded me of a peanut”
Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally’s Mum asked, “Really small was it?”
Sally replied, “No…Salty”
(4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
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This is children writing all about the sea…
1 ) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. Kelly age 6
2 ) Oysters’ balls are called pearls. James age 6
3 ) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island . If you don’t have sea all round you, you are incontinent. Wayne age 7
4 ) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like EmilyRichardson. She’s not my friend no more. Kylie age 6
5 ) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head. Billie age 8
6 ) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. Millie age 6
7 ) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn’t blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. William age 7
8 ) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? Helen age 6
9 ) I’m not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick,
my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. Amy age 6
10 ) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock.
They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. Christopher age 7
11 ) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. Kevin age 6
12 ) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. Becky age 8
13 ) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water shot up her fanny. Julie age 7
(3 votes, average: 3 out of 5)
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I with I lived in scandanavia. They seem so smart and their engineering skills are second to none.
(3 votes, average: 4 out of 5)
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As you shall make your bed so…. shall you mess it up.
Better be safe than…. punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the…. bug is close.
It’s always darkest before…. daylight savings time
You can lead a horse to water but…. how?
Don’t bite the hand that….. looks dirty.
A miss is as good as a….Mr.
You can’t teach an old dog new….. math.
If you lie down with the dogs….. you’ll stink in the morning.
The pen is mightier than the…pigs.
An idle mind is….. the best way to relax.
Where there’s smoke, there’s….pollution.
Happy the bride who…. gets all the presents.
A penny saved is…..not much.
Two’s company, three’s….. the musketeers.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and…you have to blow your nose.
Children should be seen and not…..spanked or grounded.
When the blind leadeth the blind……get out of the way.
(3 votes, average: 2.67 out of 5)
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Those crazy Germans really know how to make a good show.
(5 votes, average: 4 out of 5)
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Why you should never work with kids or pets.
(4 votes, average: 2.5 out of 5)
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