Art Flutter

Almost Transformers

Alex — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 22:54:29 +0000

Whitegoods in disguise

French Kangaroo

Alex — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:40:57 +0000

The Apocalypse has cometh

Alex — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 20:00:54 +0000

The internet has gone down, basically the same thing.

Costa Rican SWAT Team

Alex — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 19:51:17 +0000

Number one in the world.

A Flat Stomach Joke

Alex — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:19:09 +0000

A little boy walks into his parents’ room to see his mum on top of his dad bouncing up and down.
The mum sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.
She dresses quickly and goes to find him.

The son sees his mom and asks, ‘What were you and Dad doing?’
The mother replies, ‘Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it.’

‘Your wasting your time,’ said the boy.
‘Why is that?’ the mom asked puzzled.

‘Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up.’

The Tiffany Bracelet Joke

Alex — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 20:15:38 +0000

A lady walks into Tiffany’s. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn’t pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of

a salesman standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism,

the salesman greets the lady with, ‘Good day, Madam.

How may we help you today?’

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman

may just not have been there at the time of her little

‘accident’, she asks, ‘Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?’

He answers, ‘Madam, if you farted just looking at it,

you’re going to shit yourself when I tell you the price.’

A Blonde Nurse Visits a Bank Joke

Alex — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 20:12:42 +0000

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, Totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.
Preparing to write a check, She pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse And tries to write with it.
When she realises her mistake, She looks at the flabbergasted teller, And without missing a beat, she says

“Well, that’s great….that’s just great….

Some asshole’s got my pen!”

Golf Club Sign

Alex — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 05:09:08 +0000

Back straight, knees apart and feet a shoulder width apart
Form a loose grip
Keep your head down
Avoid a quick back swing
Stay out of the water
Try not to hit anyone
If you’re taking too long, let others go ahead of you
Don’t stand directly in front of others
Quiet please… While others are preparing
Don’t take extra strokes

Well Done.

Now… Flush the urinal, go outside, and tee off.

Skinny Dipping Joke

Alex — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 20:06:21 +0000

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for years.

He had a large pond in the back which he had fixed-up really nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts and some orange trees.

The pond was ideal for swimming although he rarely did that any more.

One evening, as he hadn’t been to the pond for a while, he decided to go down and look it over.

He grabbed a five gallon bucket with which to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond he heard voices, people were shouting and laughing with glee. As he got closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”

The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or to make you get out of the pond naked.” Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”

Things that Look like Faces

Alex — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 20:46:00 +0000