seriously what was this guy thinking? That is the lamest banana suit I’ve ever seen.
(2 votes, average: 3 out of 5)
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Archive for July, 2007
(2 votes, average: 3 out of 5)
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Ever wanted to show your inner geek? Probably the best way would be to buy a T-shirt with a witty slogan along the lines of “Linux Rules / Windows Sucks”. This guy opted for a windows 98 Blue Screen of Death tattoo.
(2 votes, average: 3.5 out of 5)
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An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a construction site.
The foreman points out a huge pile of sand.
He says to the Italian guy, “You’re in charge of sweeping.”
To the Scotsman he says, “You’re in charge of shovelling.”
And to the Chinese guy, “You’re in charge of supplies.”
He then says, “Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you men to make a dent in that pile of sand.”
So when the foreman returns after being away for a couple of hours, the pile of sand is untouched.
He asks the Italian, “Why didn’t you sweep any of it?”
The Italian replies, “I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinesea fella that he a wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere.”
Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says “And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile.”
The Scotsman replies, “Aye, that ye did laddie, boot ah could nae get meself a shoovel. Ye left th’ Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldna fin’ him neither.”
The foreman is really angry now.
He storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese gent.
Just then, the Chinese man leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells, “SUPPLIES!!!!”
(3 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5)
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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
“Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.”
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.
The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.”
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what in the world is this?”
The bank manager looks back at her and says…
“It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”
(1 votes, average: 4 out of 5)
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This guy goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but every time I fart, it sounds like the word HONDA.”
“That’s very interesting, I’ve never heard of anything like that before. Do you think you could fart for me?” says the doctor.
The guy fires one off and sure enough, the doctor hears “HONDA!”
After several attempts to figure out what’s wrong with this guy, the doctor runs out of ideas.
He sends him to all sorts of stomach specialists and none of them can figure out why this guys farts say, “HONDA.”
Finally, as a last resort, the doctors send him to a dentist. After listening to the problem, the dentist opens up the guys mouth and examines it.
“A-haa!!!!, says the dentist “….I have solved the problem.”
“What is it? What is it. Please tell me doc”
The dentist replies “Well, sir, you have an abscess tooth.”
“Yeah….so?”, says the guy, “What has that got to do with my farts?”
The dentist replies . . .
“Cant you see, Abscess Makes The Fart Go HONDA”
(2 votes, average: 3 out of 5)
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I need that look. Makes everyone you go near turn into an actor of Shakespearian proportions.
(1 votes, average: 3 out of 5)
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What was wrong with the timber car?
It wooden go.
What about the metal car?
It steel wooden go!
How did the butcher introduce his wife?
Meat Pattie.
A man and a giraffe are having a drink in the pub.
The giraffe flakes it on the floor from too much drink and the man gets up to leave.
The barman says “Hey you can’t leave that lying there.”
The man says “Don’t be stupid it’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe.”
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Because he got a hole-in-one.
What do you call a lady in the distance?
Dot.
What do you call a lady between two goal posts?
Annette.
What do you call a lady with one leg?
Eileen.
What do you call a Japanese lady with one leg?
Irene.
(1 votes, average: 4 out of 5)
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